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I have over $100 million. Then why aren't I rich.


dredgy

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Yesterday's local news was a little disturbing for me. I flicked on the TV to see what was making news for the day. Virgin Blue lost a nose wheel on one of their planes, someone was charged with some murder and 4 car crashes had occured with no fatalities. Towards the end of the news the anchor announced that I was the first person in the region to earn $100 million due to business and property interests.

 

My first reaction was "Yes, finally I can get my Zonda shipped over", so I yanked out my wallet and I only had $100 in it. Which will not pay for a Zonda.

 

I then proceeded to check my bank account just to make sure someone hadn't randomly deposited $100m into it. After I realised I was no richer, I rang the news station (which I will explain is a very small-time, regional station) to complain about the inaccuracies. They had not checked their facts, had no idea who I was and (after finally talking to someone who had an inkling of what I was on about) eventually they said something about it being the money I pumped into the local economy.

 

I think stating that I have pumped $100m into the local council is stretching the truth to breaking point, I conduct most of my business interstate, so the actual figure would more likely be around $2m. And even that's stretching it.

 

I also think claiming that I am on the Queensland rich list is a blatant lie. My property and business interests are worth peanuts thanks to the economy, and after a personal income tax of $27000 a week is taken from my salary, I have absolutely no money left over. So I'm not rich, and if I was on the rich list I'd be the youngest wealthiest person in Australia, which (I'm sorry), I'm just not. One of my best friend's is on the list though, so go bother him.

 

I'm also definitely not Queensland's most successful property magnate as the news claims. I own 4 houses and a farm in Queensland, 2 of which are still mortgaged. The rest of my property is interstate - mainly in the Northern Territory and South Australia.

 

So the news, in a space of around 20 seconds has had my mum and my friends phoning asking for money, and every charity under the sun asking for bloody donations.

 

What I want to know is how could the media get there facts that badly wrong? They could just call me and ask, I have a public phone number. But no, on a slow news day they just make something up.

 

Now I'm considering suing the station for $100m for inflicting pain and emotional distress because, for one brief, shiny second, I thought I could afford a Zonda.

Edited by dredgy

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Lifes a bitch and then you die. Oh ... and you can't take it with you. Cheer up, the pain ends.
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